You may have heard a loud “POP” this morning as it rang throughout southern Arizona. It was the sound of my head dislodging from my buttocks.
It happens on an all too regular basis. I am going along in a somewhat forward manner, happily ignoring the obvious signs of an eminent crash, and I remember. Remember what? Remember that I have been down this road before. A few years shy of forty, I felt Spirit guide me to a book, Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki . I had never read a book about money before. I had made lots of it and kept almost none of it.
“My people perish for lack of knowledge" -Hosea 4:6
Before your eyes glaze over, this is not really about money. For the next two years I read everything on money management I could get my hands on. I applied this knowledge to my life and things turned around. Until my divorce, I was a dynamo. Even after, I was ever hopeful and managed to get things going several times, only to watch things crash with each attempt. The problem was never the plan: I have great ideas and lots of them. Something in me failed to follow through. I become distracted and lose sight of the goal. Shame sets in as I kick myself over not doing better. I usually pick things up again later and often times finish what I started, but by the time I have achieved the goal, the energy and joy of it is gone. Usually I just shelve it for good. As I write this I have two documentaries left unedited, a few podcasts unedited, at least four CDs of my own music unmixed, but otherwise finished. I own several domain names and two hosting sites. Yet the only way to find me online is through facebook, twitter, myspace and the Divine Now podcast.
“Is motivation permanent?” The answer is no – but then neither is bathing. Now, just in case you think I’m encouraging you not to bathe, let me assure you that I believe in bathing”. –Zig Ziglar
A few years ago I discovered The Secret. That was also a head popping moment in time. The teaching comes straight from Jesus and so was easy for me to grab onto. I can feel some people tensing up at that last sentence. I will not bother to defend it here. Read what Jesus taught and you will find it. Even if the words are different, the meaning is the same.
The Shack rocked my world and left me crying for days. It is a beautiful voice of grace and a masterwork of theology. Only the Gospel accounts of the last days of Jesus have moved me as deeply. Micquette and I have given away countless copies.
I can feel Spirit pressing on me these past few weeks. Encouraging me to move forward in power. I know the feeling. The signs are forming to guide me. I will move when it is clear which direction to head in. This is not a job or address change. Rather, there is something being made ready for a blessing. Something that, when energy is applied to it, will produce greater gain. In the Charismatic church world, we call this the “Anointing”, God’s special favor on something or someone. It is coming for me. There is nothing I can do to earn it or force it to happen. I do not even know what it is. I’ll let you know as it unfolds.
So what was the loud pop all about today? One of my kids is struggling in school. My smart young mini-me bombed out of a summer school class and hide it from me. Of course I found out. Parents ALWAYS find out. Frustration was my first reaction. Why hide it from me? I took a day to think it over before responding to the news.
After a good night’s sleep, I began to get excited about the possibilities this minor fiasco presents. My mind was soon filling with ways I could help get the grades back up. Instead of anger, I am looking forward to being a help in guiding my student on to better grades and the confidence I know it will give. This grade crashed and burned because my child refused to ask for help. Soon shame set in and it became a secret to be kept from me.
I sat my young one down to have “The Talk” about it all. Seconds before it began, Spirit gave me a picture of my own life. My Heavenly parent stands with outreached arms, excited to guide and help. God is ever ready to give into my need, even as shame and self condemnation keep me from asking for help. Sometimes I need help or information or motivation. Sometimes I need a hug.
We had the talk, sigh. I cried as soon as my kiddo slumped off to lick unseen wounds. All you have to do is ask for help.
All I have to do is ask for help.
May the Lord bless and keep you.
Mark
reverendmsa@hotmail.com
